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I Poem
I wrote this around the age of 10 or 11.
As a kid, I loved reading Willard Espy's Almanac of Words at Play. It was dirtier (and more problematic in many ways) than I should probably have been reading at that age, but I was intensely fascinated with all the different types of wordplay in it.
Among other things, it contained a story written with no vowels except E.
Being the overachieving little smart aleck that I was, I thought, "E? That's easy. Thats the most common vowel. I'm going to do one with only I."
So I did. As far as I can tell, there is only one error (on the first page; I guess I got the hang of it after that).
In my defense, the story with only E's in my copy of Espy's Almanac of Words at Play also contains one error: the word "beckoned," which has an O in it. It may not have been Espy's fault... I suspect an over-zealous editor who saw the word "becked" and mistook it as a misspelling for "beckoned" instead of an archaic synonym for it.
In any case, I did not make my own error on purpose to imitate his error. My goal was to be BETTER than Espy.
TEXT OF PAGE
In big, inviting Mississippi, writing with sticks in whitish-pink dirt, sits Jill Smith. Jill Smith thinks writing with sticks is sick. If Jill is writing with sticks, Jill isn't smiling.
Jill is wishing Bill might think Mississippi inviting. If Bill thinks Mississippi is inviting, Bill might sit with Jill in Mississippi, Jill thinks.
Bill might sit with Jill Smith, Bill might write in pink dirt with Jill Smith, Bill might kiss Jill Smith. This is Jill's wish.
*
Six kids (Lilith, Philip, Dick, Rick, Mick, Bill) sit in British hills. Bill thinks, "I wish I might sit with Jill Smith in Mississippi."
Lilith is whining, "I think Bill is thinking Mississippi is inviting."
Philip thinks Bill is liking Lilith. Bill isn't liking Lilith. Bill is liking Jill Smith.
Philip thinks, "I wish I might kiss Lilith. Lilith is slim, Lilith is smiling with pink lips. I think Bill is liking Lilith. I wish I might kill him."
*
This is Jill Smith's wish: Bill might kiss Jill Smith.
This is Bill's wish: Jill might kiss Bill.
This is Lilith's wish: Philip might kiss Lilith.
Philip is wishing Lilith will kiss him.
TEXT OF PAGE
In Mississippi, Jill sits in Milli's wind mill.
Milli, Jill's twin, skips in, sits with Jill.
Jill thinks Milli will finish singing "Jill with Bill."
*
Milli sings:
"Will Jill kiss Bill?
Will Bill kiss Jill?
Jill will kiss Bill,
Bill will kiss Jill."
*
Jill's skin is pink.
Jill lifts six thick sticks,
is giving Milli six hits:
*
Hit!
Hit!
Hit!
Hit!
Hit!
Hit!
TEXT OF PAGE
In British hills sit six kids.
Philip is drinking milk.
"Bill is liking Lilith," sighs Philip.
*
Bill hits Philip's frigid milk, spilling it in
whitish-pink dirt.
*
Lilith is wiping whitish milk in pink dirt with Bill's shirt.
*
"I think," sighs Dick, "Bill isn't liking Lilith."
*
Jill is still living in Mississippi. Jill's wish is still, "I wish Bill will find Mississippi inviting."
Jill thinks, Did I kill Milli? Did I kill Milli with six sticks? Did six thick sticks kill this girl?
Jill didn't kill Milli; Milli stirs.
"Milli is living," sighs Jill. "I didn't kill Milli."
"Dimwit!" Milli is whining. "Big dimwit!"
TEXT OF PAGE
Lilith, Philip, Dick, Rick, Mick, Bill, still sit in British hills.
*
Lilith sings:
"Sit in this bird skin this night.
With wings, it is high, in flight.
It is rising, with Philip within.
I think I will sit in this bird skin."
*
Dick finds six bird skins.
Within sit six kids: Lilith, Philip, Dick, Rick, Mick, Bill.
Six bird skins, six kids.
*
Bill's bird skin is rising first.
Lilith's is rising, with Lilith within.
Mick's is rising.
Dick's is rising.
Rick's is rising fifth.
Philip's is rising sixth.
Rising high, in flight.
TEXT OF PAGE
In Mississippi sits Milli, with Jill.
Twin girls, sitting in Mississippi.
Jill sights six bird skins, high in flight, still rising.
"Milli," sighs Jill, "I think Bill finds Mississippi inviting."
*
Bill sits with Jill in Mississippi. It is Spring.
Jill is drinking frigid whitish milk.
Bill is dining: fish, figs, thick pink bird skins.
"Didn't Philip sit in this bird skin?" thinks Jill.
Bill is drinking spirits with his bird skins, Jill is still drinking milk.
Biting his pink bird skin, Bill is smiling.
"Ick, this is sick," thinks Jill.
Jill sips whitish milk, thinking Bill's bird skin is sick.
*
In Wiggins, Mississippi, sits Milli, kissing Rick's lips.
"I'm liking Rick," sighs Milli.
"Kissing Rick is sick," spits Philip.
"I think kissing Lilith is sick."
Philip is kissing thin Lilith's pink lips. "Rick is sick. Milli is sick. Sick dimwits."
Milli hits Philip.
TEXT OF PAGE
Still biting his bird skin, Bill sings:
"This bird skin is thick.
Jill Smith thinks it's sick."
*
"Right," thinks Jill, "Bill is right. I think it's sick."
Jill hits Bill in his thick pink lips. Jill hits his thigh.
Jill is striking Bill with Milli's pink shirt.
Hit!
Hit!
Hit!
*
"I'm liking Jill Smith," sighs Bill, flinching. "I'll spit this bird skin in Milli's ditch if Jill isn't liking it."
"Right! Spit it in Milli's ditch!" sings Jill.
Bill is rising, striding, spitting his bird skin in Milli's ditch.
*
Jill is smiling. Jill sings:
"If Bill did spit his bird skin bit,
If this is which ditch it's in,
I will kiss Bill's thick pink lips
Till Bill is whitish, thin."
*
Jill is kissing Bill.
Bill's lips shrink,
Bill is thin, whitish.
*
"Did I kill him?" thinks Jill.
"If I did, this kiss will kill Philip."
Jill is kissing Philip. Philip is shrinking, Philip is thin.
TEXT OF PAGE
"This kiss will kill Rick," sings Jill, kissing Rick's lips.
Jill is right, this kiss kills Rick.
*
Jill is kissing. Jill is killing.
*
Milli is still living.
Lilith is still living.
Dick is still living.
*
"Jill is wild!" sighs Milli. "Jill kills with kissing!"
Jill skips in. "Dick," Jill sighs. "I will kill Dick. I will kill Dick with kissing!"
Jill lifts Dick, sits with him in Milli's ditch, is kissing him. Did Jill's kiss kill him?
*
Jill's kiss didn't kill him! Dick is still living!
*
" This kiss will kill him," thinks Jill, kissing him.
It didn't.
*
"Jill's kiss didn't kill Dick!" sighs Milli.
*
Lilith thinks.
Lilith sings:
"If Rick is liking Jill,
If Bill is liking Jill,
Jill's kiss is killing Rick,
Jill's kiss is killing Bill.
If Dick thinks kissing Jill is sick,
Jill's kiss isn't killing Rick."
*
Milli is smiling. "I think Jill is sick. I think Jill is sick."
*
"Milli isn't liking Jill. If Milli is liking
(continued on next page)
TEXT OF PAGE
(continued from previous page)
Jill, Jill will kiss Milli, Jill's kiss will kill Milli."
"Milli isn't liking Jill?" Dick is whining. "Milli isn't liking Jill? Jill is Milli's sibling! Jill is Milli's twin!"
Lilith sighs. "Dick, if Milli is liking Jill, Jill's kiss will kill Milli!"
"Will Jill kiss Milli? Will this girl, Jill, kiss this girl, Milli?"
"Jill might kiss Milli. Milli is Jill's sibling."
"Ick."
I don't have any more. I think there are some pages I lost, but even when I had all the pages I'm pretty sure it was an unfinished story. There's only so much story you can tell with I.